But - there is NO law that requires people to be nice.
"No but ..."
"Do I say something degrading about you?"
"No, but I don't feel uplifting, I feel difficult, uncomfortable."
"We need to be polite and discuss matters that may affect our life. Why should I care all the time about how you feel? Why should YOU care all the time about how I feel?
"Because ... ... you need to be nice!"
"Because! ... I'm leaving! You are impossible!"
If someone gets so easily upset, that one simply should not go any close to politics (or management, or any professional field that requires communication with other people, really: for more follow to “Intellectual stagnation, social conformism, and the crisis of logical communication”).
More on avoiding difficult conversation at
"When conforming to conformity leads to social deterioration".
Also, watch a great conversation between Mill Maher and Dr. Jordan B. Peterson.
Vodka was cheap, but even it was sold only by leaflets/cards. After standing in a long line to buy our vodka, I went to the city market and tried to sell it for some money or at least to exchange it for some canned food. Some people would like to offer me something else; they would like to get vodka and give me a pair of gloves, or a scarf. When that happened I always said “Thank you, but no, I don't need gloves, or a scarf, I need money or food”.
When people start doing something smart, I will start doing something nice. Until then, all I need to do – always! – is being polite, because that what is required by the law.
Confusion between "polite" and "nice" is not confined by politics, one can see it in science, in business, basically everywhere where people talk. In politics it is called "political correctness", in other spheres it may be called "rudeness", or "cynicism". Unfortunately, this confusion presents a huge obstacle to forging an effective collaboration.
this is one of my favorite Russian wisdoms (more in a different post):
Just one of numerous illustrations how physics is related to the every-day life.
Homework question: why what many of my students think about me is opposite to what many of adults do?
As a man of science, I know that terminology is an important instrument for making our statements as clear as possible. Science begins from classification and definitions. And in science calling thins what they are is the only way the science can be done.
Saying to a short person – you’re short – is not an
insult, it is merely a statement of a fact. Saying to a short fat – you’re
fat – is not an insult, it is merely a statement of a fact. “Saying to an
idiot – you’re an idiot – is not an insult, it is merely a statement of a
fact. Of course, when people hear facts they don’t like, they may feel upset,
angry, vindictive, etc. And that is fine. The real question is, what are they
going to do about that? A short person can become an actor. A fat person can
lose some weight. And an idiot could, maybe, start learning from others. Or
they can focus all their energy to destroy the source of the facts they don’t
like to hear.
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